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    Jamila Akil: Beware of “Concern Trolls”

    January 4, 2012 | Jamila Akil |

    Concern troll (noun): A concern troll is a false flag pseudonym created by a user whose actual point of view is opposed to the one that the user claims to hold. The concern troll posts in Web forums devoted to its declared point of view and attempts to sway the group’s actions or opinions while claiming to share their goals, but with professed “concerns”. The goal is to sow fear, uncertainty and doubt within the group (Source: Wikipedia )

    Concern trolls show up on blogs focused on black women and interracial dating to do one thing and one thing only: To sow fear, uncertainty and doubt with the group.

    The name of the concern trolls game is to get you to suffer from crippling self-doubt. What the concern troll wants you to do is to be afraid, uncertain, or doubtful about the intentions of a non-black man when you get approached by one. The concern trolls hope is that you will feel so unsteady around a non-black man, so uncertain of his intentions when he expresses what appears to be genuine interest that you will shoot your own self in the foot by making sure that you reject the non-white guy before he rejects you. And the concern troll wants to make you believe that he/she is only saying certain things to you because they care. NOT!!!

    As an example of concern trolling in action, I present to you a portion of a comment left on my blog : Seriously speaking, BW should be very careful when dating or marrying *anyone* from a country with a colonial history in or with Africa. There’s no sense in making a concerted effort to ignore Pookie and Ray Ray, just to fall into the arms of Guillermo “Goza” Velasquez (restauranteur, part-time lower- league football player and full time Lothario.) I’ve seen it happen with my own eyes, black military women who went to the Azores or Spain, “fell in love” with the first sweet talker with hazel eyes and actual swagger (because they made the mistake of thinking that all white men are middle-class white Americans), just to come back to the States complaining about how “all men ain’t shit!”, because their swirling partner was just looking to earn his “black oak” badge.

    It’s jumping from the frying pan into the fire: trading black men who are most likely to specialise in *1* form of game (with one parent who approves) for white men who can jump between multiple forms of seduction (all of which are based on centuries of tradition, supplemented by parental approval of game and buffered by their disdain for black skin, the traditional “blacks are for sex, not marriage”, mindset.) Although there are plenty (way too many, although not a majority) of black men who are trifling and should be ignored, at least those black men have parents who *will* bother them to settle down. Your average Mediterranean man is going to swim upstream just to try to make things *serious*, never mind trying to convince his parents to treat his black wife as a daughter. My whole swirling mindset is based on the idea that BW shouldn’t ignore WM who are ready to date/marry them if their available black options aren’t acting right; it doesn’t make sense for me to cosign on the idea of BW going after WM who have even more reasons/excuses to not get married.

    That being said, I’m obviously not the boss of anyone….

    First clue that this person was concern trolling: The post where this person left the comment HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with interracial dating . When a person starts giving you relationship advice out to the clear blue, you can bet that they are just getting something off of their chest that they had been wanting to say to you anyways and now they finally found a way to make their opportunity.

    Second clue: He suggested that I should be wary of anyone who comes from country with a colonial history in or with Africa. So he wants me to consider with suspicion the advances of any man who approaches me from France, Spain, Italy, England, Germany, Belgium, and Portugal at the least. I guess I should be happy, I can still date Armenians right? This concern troll is just spewing an updated version of, “How can you date the white men after they enslaved Africans.” It’s the ‘you can’t date white men due to slavery argument’ wrapped up in a new packaging with a little Febreze rubbed on it so you won’t notice the musty, mildewy smell coming from this worn out argument.

    Second clue: He tells me white men just have too much game! How can you fight the white man’s game sista? Do you know how powerful and multifaceted the white man’s game is? Did you know that the white man has been honing his game for centuries under the tutelage of his white mother and father? Hmm, I’m supposed to be leery of the white man’s game. Now that’s a new one.

    Third clue: He tells me that yes, there are many black men that are trifling and should be ignored, but even a trifling black man has parents who will advise him to marry you…eventually. My name is not Savannah Brinson so I will not be giving a man 9 years of my life and two sons before his momma finally convinces him that I’m marriage material. I’m also not a hip hop wife, so I won’t be buying my own ring and proposing. Somebody should call up the ghost of Ray Charles to let Mr. MaMu know that he has the wrong one baby, uh huh .

    And the kicker, the part of his comment that finally sealed the deal was when he used the most tired line in the book: it’s ok to date white men, if there are no available black options. The black man should be first in line, and then only if I absolutely cannot find a brotha to marry me should I then seek out a white man with a boatload of game to spare who will turn his nose up at his family to be with me.

    Is concern trolling the only job left in this economy? Has the job market become that bad?

    Thankfully I see right through the concern trolls and I hope other black women interested in dating across color lines see it too.

    Visit Jamila’s brilliant blog here .

    Filed Under: Black Women's Improvement Project (BWIP) Tagged With: trolls

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    Comments

    1. FourAndThreeQuarters says

      January 4, 2012 at 9:15 pm

      this post is a good one…especially for the fence-sitters & lurkers.

    2. Jamila says

      January 4, 2012 at 9:17 pm

      I wrote this one Chris,lol !

      • Christelyn says

        January 4, 2012 at 9:20 pm

        SHYTE!! Okay changing NOW…what the cuss happened!!? GRR… @Jamila

      • Nickhiesa says

        January 4, 2012 at 9:22 pm

        @Jamila are you for real?

    3. Jamila says

      January 4, 2012 at 9:23 pm

      I should also let warn you all that the black man who left this comment on my blog said that he was in the military and have never dated a black American woman, but he had dated plenty of non-American black women and white women from the countries where *I* should be leery of the white men. According to him, white women from countries with a colonial history are ok, but white men? Oh no, white men just want to use you! You can’t trust them! As soon as I saw his comment I knew it had to be a post.

      Ever notice how white women get a pass on the whole colonial issue (even though the white women of that age benefited from it too), but white men get no such pass?

      • Law Wanxi says

        January 5, 2012 at 6:26 am

        @Jamila

        “Ever notice how white women get a pass on the whole colonial issue (even though the white women of that age benefited from it too), but white men get no such pass?”

        Two points: 1. The White woman gets a pass because the BM wants her@ass. Nothing more and nothing less. It may be because he hates Black women or views the White woman as some sort of “slavery reparation” or whatever sick reason. The White woman is always the goal, the treasure, the prize. Her Ivory Holiness was then, is now and will forever get a pass because she is universally worshipped by Black Males Worldwide. She is their ideal of beauty and she is their Goddess.

        2. How many people here have actually ever been slaves or the colonized? To listen to DBR/BM from Ray-Ray to Cornel West, you’d think the whole mess ended, IDK, last Thursday.

        Settle in, this may take a while. I was born in The British Crown COLONY of Hong Kong. Yeah, ladies, I was one of the colonized. Like the guy in the commercial says, you’d better have an umbrella, because it’s gonna be raining down cold hard facts. Hong Kong was very much a colony and the Chinese there were very much the colonized until July 1, 1997. Yeah, Tenured Ethnic Studies Professors world-wide [and I’m talking to YOU, Henry Louis Gates III and Maulana Ron Karenga, notorious Black Woman Torturer], and especially in the USA. that’s NINETEEN NINETY-F#%@ING-SEVEN!!! The Brits, the holier than thou, Oh you enslaving American scum BRITS imported Police Officers from India, mostly Sikhs, for many years because they were bigger and could beat us better.

        –end part one

        • Law Wanxi says

          January 5, 2012 at 6:41 am

          @Jamila

          –begin part two

          Having Indian cops meant a British man need never actually TOUCH one of us filthy little buggers. Indian cops kept us out of all-Brit housing areas and made sure that the nicest private parks were kept free of Dogs and Chinese, unless, of course, a White Woman walked the dog in on a leash. Then ‘Ah-Singh’, as we called them back in the day, would bow his head a little and let Her Ladyship and her Pug in the park. Pugs, always pugs. I can’t see a Pug today without wanting to soccer kick the mutt a block or two. OK, they had some coolies doing the grunt work there, but that was the way the King or Queen decreed it. Supervised, of course, by Indian Horticulturalists and lower-order Brits.

          The British MEN viewed us as servants, employees, trading partners and business contacts. Never their equal, nonetheless, we were seen as actual people, albeit of a lesser god whose souls needed saving by their Greater God. They employed us, they educated us for their own purposes and for the last twenty years of the history of the Colony trained people to run a government. Yeah, they had Chinese mistresses. They, for the most part, treated them fairly well. Took care of them better than Black Women are cared for by Black Males in the USA for the greater part. After WWII, we were not quite equals, but not quite the beasts of burden we were before. The loss of India in 1947, put the fright up the Brit’s spine and things got better. We were no longer just coolies.

          –end part two

          • Law Wanxi says

            January 5, 2012 at 6:57 am

            @Jamila

            –begin part three

            British WOMEN, OTOH, were a different story. With very few exceptions toward the end and with no exceptions WHATSOEVER before WWII, British Women never lifted a finger in HK. We were their lesser servants, subordinate to the Indian maids and cooks. After a while, because we worked longer, harder and cheaper than the Indians brought over to help rule over us, we got the better servant jobs. But that was all we ever were, just nameless faceless servants, to the White women, except for a few nuns from Ireland. On June 30, 1997, I’m sure many of the old ones who hadn’t left were wondering what the little yellow people would do to “their” precious Hong Kong. Prior to WWII, it was a hanging offence for a Chinese man to have sex with a British woman because it was always rape, no matter how much it wasn’t. Her Ladyship and they were ALL Her Ladyship, no matter what kind of low class trollop they were back in Jolly Old England, had to be constantly protected from the predations of the twisted little rat eaters.

            Most, BUT NOT ALL, of this had died out by the time I was born. My parents and grandparents knew the effects of colonialism because they lived with them every day, not studied about them in books. When London had it’s little racial difficulties in August 2011, Grandmother Chu was cheering on the rioters, hoping and praying they’d burn Britain to the ground. Seriously disappointed when the disturbances ended with out Big Ben on its side and Buckingham Palace reduced to rubble.

            Done. Got THAT off my chest.

          • Karla says

            January 5, 2012 at 7:13 am

            @Law Wanxi Amazing narrative but not surprising. Colonialism was some piece of work and White Brits did that work well (this is not a compliment).

          • Brenda55 says

            January 5, 2012 at 7:46 am

            @Law Wanxi@Jamila

            Thanks for posting this my man. Thanks.

            Re. point 1. AMEN. That is it in a nut shell.

            Re. point 2. Preach.

            Don’t listen to the arm chair warriors. Listen to the people who lived it.

            Re. Grandmother Chu. I feel her. My people have had occasion to form a similar cheering section a time or two and for similar reasons.

          • formavitae says

            January 5, 2012 at 8:25 am

            @Law Wanxi@Jamila

            wow…I didn’t know all of that. Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate it. I wish more Black Americans learned/heard about the experiences of others. I think that would help them understand they are not alone in their experience of oppression and maybe motivate them to try harder/do better.

          • Joyce345 says

            January 5, 2012 at 8:59 am

            @Law Wanxi@Jamila

            @ Wanxi, as someone from a former British colony myself, I agree 100%.

          • Monique8 says

            January 5, 2012 at 9:07 am

            @Law Wanxi Now THAT was dropping som knowledge. I feel you on the whole British empire thing. My family is from Jamaica which was a British colony until 1962. My mother told us sorties of when she was a little girl having to stand in the “sun hot” to wave to the queen who brought her own water to bathe and drink becasue the water in Jamaica just wasn’t good enough for her fair British skin, I guess. As to your point 1. you ain’t said nothing but the truth.

          • Jay from Philly says

            January 5, 2012 at 10:01 am

            @Law Wanxi@Jamila Testify!

          • Law Wanxi says

            January 5, 2012 at 11:42 am

            @formavitae@Jamila

            The Black women would listen and learn some stuff. The males, to a man, would jabber on about de slabery, de ebil White man, de institutional racism, de Jim Crow and de lynchings. Then call me a Chink and go off to weep on Blond haired / Blue eyed bleeding heart Becky’s shoulder.

            And speaking of lynchings, plenty of Chinese lynched in California, Oregon [talking about YOU, Portland, and how did Chinese Massacre Cove get it’s name? Because Pine Cove was already taken?] and Washington [Issaquah, Newcastle, PC Progressive Seattle, Tacoma, etc]. You won’t find them in the national federal statistics, which are only kept in Black and White, formerly at Tuskegee. I guess we were background noise, points off the statistical chart, bad data thrown out because it didn’t prove a point.

            California has a long, proud history of lynching Hispanics. They’re hidden in the White statistics, when they appear at all.

            Here: http://modelminority.com/tiki/tiki-index.php?page=Hate+Crimes

            Read the part about Korean Store owners, the ones that almost every Black Male in LA hates with fire exceeding that normally reserved for Whites.

            We don’t go on about the lynchings and violence, because we have other things to do. Work and/or go to school, get married raise families, invest, live life in general. Like we have for several thousand years.

          • ASwirlGirl says

            January 5, 2012 at 3:04 pm

            @Law Wanxi@Jamila Lax, I’ve had to study quite a bit about colonization while seeking a PhD in higher education administration. Your first person perspective is priceless. Thanks for sharing.

          • Robynne says

            January 5, 2012 at 3:27 pm

            @Monique8@law Word. The Brits were experts at pitting groups against each other for their (the Brits) own purposes. I was born after the worst had passed, but I heard the stories. In the islands they used colourism to keep the majority black population firmly under their thumbs. This usually involved pitting the mixed race blacks against those with more of a West African phenotype. This was used to determine who went to high school, especially the more prestigious schools, who got the more desirable jobs (the jobs that did not involve manual labour and cleaning up after other people), etc.

          • StellaTrishaScott says

            January 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

            @Law Wanxi@Jamila

            Thank you for giving us this mini history lesson. I had no idea about the “Indian cops”. It just goes to show you that it is possible to overcome oppression and come out way ahead. When I consider the plight of Dalits in India I am tempted to say that blacks in America and other countries have to be a little grateful.

          • StellaTrishaScott says

            January 5, 2012 at 10:33 pm

            @Robynne@Monique8@law

            Agreed. The French did the same in Haiti. It worked so well that even though the Haitian revolution was successful much of the progress was hampered by colorism among the Haitians themselves.

        • Jamila says

          January 5, 2012 at 10:21 am

          You reminded me of a joke my girlfriend (a white woman) told me.

          She told me that a black woman saying she won’t date a white man because of slavery is like a white man saying he won’t date an Asian woman because the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.

          @Law Wanxi

      • Toni_M says

        January 5, 2012 at 7:58 am

        @Jamila LOL. it’s actually harder *not* to notice these moronic hypocrites and their fail logic.

    4. Lili2009 says

      January 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm

      • Jamila says

        January 4, 2012 at 9:29 pm

        I saw a snippet of that show over at Evia’s. Sherri was a mess; when she stated a version of “well, it’s ok for a black man (referring to her male friend) to date a non-black woman, but it’s wrong if he has a preference for them. It’s wrong if he skips over the black women first.”

        Basically she was saying the same thing as this guy with the ‘you know you have to give the brotha’s first dibs and ONLY AFTER you give the brothas a chance can you step over the color line.”

        @Lili2009

        • Christelyn says

          January 4, 2012 at 9:33 pm

          All fixed! Sorry Jamila… @Jamila @Lili2009

          • Jamila says

            January 4, 2012 at 9:35 pm

            No problem. As soon as I saw it I was like, “hmm, this writing looks eerily familiar…” lol @Christelyn @Lili2009

          • Christelyn says

            January 4, 2012 at 9:35 pm

            AHAHAHA! I’m just exhausted I guess… @Jamila @Lili2009

          • Jamila says

            January 4, 2012 at 9:41 pm

            Believe me, I understand that exhausted feeling…but unlike you I’m not doing much of anything. Imagine if I wasn’t on school break? haha @Christelyn @Lili2009

        • NATruthstudent says

          January 4, 2012 at 11:18 pm

          @Jamila@Lili2009

          Sometimes I’d like to ask them why love is wrong…

      • keeks Y says

        January 5, 2012 at 4:33 am

        Sherri is a serious head case. @Lili2009

      • Bellydancer says

        January 5, 2012 at 7:27 am

        Chile not only that but her new husband had one of his exes in her wedding. Talk about stupid. That woman is an example of what some people like to see on tv but Holly Robinson Peete cannot find a job. SMDH

      • ForestElfQueen says

        January 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

        @Lili2009 ” She understood where Jill Scott was coming from with her “white women with black men hurt my soul” comment because of slavery! ”

        That whole JS thing was so surprising for me! We have an autographed poster somewhere downstairs wishing us the best from one of her appearances in Paris. We were engaged at the time and I was huge an of her WIJS album.

        maybe there was a french exemption? haha… or maybe she literally meant BM/WW and not the other way around. I dunno. I was stunned.

    5. NATruthstudent says

      January 4, 2012 at 9:45 pm

      All I’ve got to say to those folks is the same thing Rita Coolidge said in her song: “LOVE is the ONLY color!”

    6. eugeniamitchell says

      January 4, 2012 at 9:58 pm

      • formavitae says

        January 5, 2012 at 8:28 am

        @eugeniamitchell I like this pic of you and your hubby. You make a CUTE couple!

        • eugeniamitchell says

          January 5, 2012 at 9:30 am

          @formavitae Thank you. We were snowboarding up in Stevens Pass when it taken.

    7. EvilFrenchFries says

      January 4, 2012 at 9:59 pm

      “My name is not Savannah Brinson so I will not be giving a man 9 years of my life and two sons before his momma finally convinces him that I’m marriage material.”

      LMAO

      • Sophia says

        January 5, 2012 at 11:19 am

        @EvilFrenchFries Over the holidays, my family learned that a distance acquaintance of ours is getting married this year. Everyone in this story is East African btw.

        This acquaintance was with one gorgeous, kind woman for 10 years and dumped her to marry another woman in less than a year. When my parents found out, my father disgustedly called out the man as “immoral” and ” a user”. It really upset him that this man wasted his ex’s time for 10 years. He said it’s a pity they weren’t back home because her family would have intervened, told the man to step the hell up and essentially not let their daughter get used this way.

        On the other hand, my mom’s reaction? “Foolish girl”.

        • Jamila says

          January 5, 2012 at 12:57 pm

          I’m at a point in my life that there is no way in the world I would give a man even 3 or 4 years of my life with no proposal. I can understand dating for years on end if you don’t want to get married, or circumstances don’t permit you getting married, but other than that…giving a man the best years of your life when he won’t fully commit is a no-no. @Sophia @EvilFrenchFries

          • Joyce345 says

            January 5, 2012 at 10:57 pm

            @Jamila@Sophia@EvilFrenchFries

            That is actually one of the great things about many African communities.

            If the woman came from a good family, you can be sure a bunch of nosy relatives would have intervened and cornered the man into paying bride price and making her his wife or at least paying a steep fine. No kidding.

            A high school friend of mine made the biggest mistake of her life and got herself knocked up by the town bad boy. He was going to bail but her relatives ganged up with his relatives and made him marry her.

            Sometimes this crazy shit actually works. Strange enough four years later he has settled into marriage and is a dotting father to their child. Who knew?

          • Jamila says

            January 5, 2012 at 11:47 pm

            “Strange enough four years later he has settled into marriage and is a dotting father to their child. Who knew?”

            Yeah, it sounds crazy, but the thing about it is that this has worked for centuries (and even before that) because men have always been trying to run from responsibility. It’s the elders who know that if they just make the young ones do the right thing then eventually the youngsters will be happy their parents made them do it. The old heads knew that if they made this man settle down and take care of this woman and child he would eventually settle into the role; if they let him run wild and fancy free he would eventually settle into a role of irresponsibility.

            @Joyce345@Sophia@EvilFrenchFries

          • DeeDeeRussell says

            January 6, 2012 at 10:07 am

            @Joyce345@Jamila@Sophia@EvilFrenchFries “Shotgun weddings” are what’s wrong with the BC…no responsible men to enforce the weddings, anymore! Back in the day, 40-35 years ago if a BW got knocked up her family pressured the marriage…now? With no father, no grandfather, for the most party B on B marriages are rare.

    8. reem11 says

      January 4, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      More brainwashing for the BW who is willing to be. Some of these BM are determined to protect their egos when it comes down to WM/BW relationships.

      • NATruthstudent says

        January 4, 2012 at 11:16 pm

        @reem11

        Reem, they’re only pretending to protect their egos. What they’re really doing is tryingto cover up their fear of losing something they never had to begin with because of their own B.S.

        • reem11 says

          January 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

          @NATruthstudent

          What would be nice is if that fear would give them more incentives to better themselves rather than live in the past. Besides they should be very happy. They are certainly free to date whomever they choose to.

          • NATruthstudent says

            January 5, 2012 at 3:01 pm

            @reem11

            Yes, they can date who they choose, but the problem is that they don’t want AA WOMEN to date who THEY choose. Hypocrits all!

          • reem11 says

            January 5, 2012 at 8:02 pm

            @NATruthstudent@reem11

            Exactly.

    9. Christelyn says

      January 4, 2012 at 10:05 pm

      Hey J, I think this post might need to be a sticky.

      • Jamila says

        January 4, 2012 at 10:06 pm

        Yeah! My first post and I’m already a ‘sticky’ one (at least until enough people read it). @Christelyn

    10. glamdoll says

      January 5, 2012 at 2:51 am

      **sigh** I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard #1, 2 and 3…..and they did make me doubtful and fearful. But after dating one dbr bm after another and passing up nonbm that were more compatible, I realized that somebody was LYING!!!! I guess I was as crazy as Halle Berry, I wanted to be “accepted” by the bc so bad. Nonbm across the board have always flirted with me, but I was always suspicious b/c that’s what I had been taught. Today I realize how crazy it is to date someone just b/c you’re “skinfolks”

      • DeeDeeRussell says

        January 6, 2012 at 10:35 pm

        @glamdoll Yup. Sistas have to ignore that skin-folks guilt tripping and go for character! “Do like BM have always done…explore your options”

        • glamdoll says

          January 6, 2012 at 11:17 pm

          @DeeDeeRussell

          options are beautiful;-)

      • ivanperonaamo says

        January 11, 2012 at 1:21 pm

        @glamdoll That intrigues me. I’ve read similar stories from other BW. The brainwashing, the mind programming. But my question is, specifically, Who did you hear that from? You heard if from your parents, at home, some relatives, your friends, or black guys in school? or all of them? is there a collective purpose in the BC to keep black girls from dating out?

    11. Karla says

      January 5, 2012 at 4:56 am

      Oh, Lord, deliver me from the cretins and idiots who cannot reason logically.

    12. JAllen says

      January 5, 2012 at 5:04 am

      “for white men who can jump between multiple forms of seduction (all of which are based on centuries of tradition, supplemented by parental approval of game”. Hum…this sounds like a seriously dangerous version of “swag”. I need to do some research (talk with my parents for sure) in to what the non-bm in Europe are being taught. I foresee a future DVD and $$$ once I’m able to learn and then teach the non-bm here in the states. Ladies look out!!

      • Brenda55 says

        January 5, 2012 at 6:50 am

        @JAllen

        I was digging that “multiple forms of seduction ” line also. What woman wouldn’t want that. LOL I mean bring it on babe lets see what you’ve got. Seduce away.

        • JAllen says

          January 5, 2012 at 9:10 am

          • Brenda55 says

            January 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

            @JAllen “for white men who can jump between multiple forms of seduction”

            {Hand slapping forehead} I got it. You cannot do the DVD man. This is a form of shape shifting. Seduce her one way then BAM change up and hit her another way. Then Shaaaazam change up again for the goal. This is all way deeper then we think.

        • Jamila says

          January 5, 2012 at 10:15 am

          Perhaps those Latin lovers are known worldwide for a reason! lol@Brenda55 @JAllen

      • Jay from Philly says

        January 5, 2012 at 9:54 am

        HE’S ONTO US! It’s the top secret “multiple forms of seduction based on centuries of tradition” for white men only, handed down the generations from Englishman to German to Irishman to Scot to Welshman to Scotch-Irishman to Spaniard to Portugese to Dutchman to Finn to Norwegian to Frenchman to Swede to Dane to Monacan to Luxemburger to Italian to Greek to Pole to Czech to Slav to Russian to Slovenian to Macedonian to Serb to Latvian to Croatian to Armenian to Turk to Lebanese to Lithuanian to Georgian to Syrian and we were just about to have our TOP SECRET MEETING at the Bohemian Grove to decide whether Asian-Americans like Law Wanxi would be considered “honorary white”. I was going to be the one to clue Law in! Well, I’ll guess we’ll have to make the concern troll disappear!

        • Jamila says

          January 5, 2012 at 10:18 am

          I think that in order to have multiple forms of seduction a man probably needs to grow up with a father who could teach the various forms. Hence the reason he may be giving a backhanded acknowledgement that many black men DONT have multiple forms of seduction. @Jay from Philly

          • Brenda55 says

            January 5, 2012 at 10:40 am

            @Jamila

            Whoot whooooooo.

          • DeeDeeRussell says

            January 6, 2012 at 10:33 pm

            @Jamila@Jay from Philly Bingo, Jamila. No offense to any but I don’t date and certainly didn’t marry, a fatherless man. They just don’t come across my radar. Granted, many fatherless BM are good, successful, hands on dads. That said too many of them aren’t.

        • Brenda55 says

          January 5, 2012 at 10:44 am

          @Jay from Philly

          Let em in. Blend that Occidental and Oriental seduction thing and us ladies can all die with silly grins on our faces. Looks like a win, win to me.

          • SirLoinDeBeef says

            January 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

            @Brenda55@Jay from Philly … and then, like the T-shirt I wear, “diagonally-parked in a parallel universe,” I could ‘pop’ into existence in this one, and seduce her yet another way … sort of like a horny Higgs Boson.

          • JAllen says

            January 5, 2012 at 3:56 pm

            @SirLoinDeBeef @Brenda55 @Jay from Philly

          • JAllen says

            January 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

            @SirLoinDeBeef @Brenda55 @Jay from Philly

          • JAllen says

            January 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm

            @SirLoinDeBeef @Brenda55 @Jay from Philly The “lucky guy”…well before this matter gets any darker. I now know…you are funny!

          • Aabaakawad says

            January 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm

            The “Oh My God!” Particle? @SirLoinDeBeef @Brenda55 @Jay from Philly

    13. AJ1997 says

      January 5, 2012 at 5:28 am

      Just in case anyone needs a reference for how easily some of these guys transition from supporting the preferences of white women to dictating the preferences of black women.

      Notice the tone in the first video. Its light, comedic, supportive, and short.

      http://youtu.be/35a-7COwuk0

      Now almost a year later in response to Black Women’s Guide to Dating White Men we have a 2 Part video series with abusive language, instructions, a story, and all “for the race”.

      http://youtu.be/eo0FwQnArP8

      http://youtu.be/FvPkZN_sEhY

      What is the motive behind black men suggesting black women be inclusive to all groups of non-black men when they clearly have nothing to gain either way?

      Start the video around at 3:36 and listen to end.

    14. AJ1997 says

      January 5, 2012 at 5:28 am

      Just in case anyone needs a reference for how easily some of these guys transition from supporting the preferences of white women to dictating the preferences of black women.

      Notice the tone in the first video. Its light, comedic, supportive, and short.

      http://youtu.be/35a-7COwuk0

      Now almost a year later in response to Black Women’s Guide to Dating White Men we have a 2 Part video series with abusive language, instructions, a story, and all “for the race”.

      http://youtu.be/eo0FwQnArP8

      http://youtu.be/FvPkZN_sEhY

      What is the motive behind black men suggesting black women be inclusive to all groups of non-black men when they clearly have nothing to gain either way?

      Start the video around at 3:36 and listen to end.

      • AJ1997 says

        January 5, 2012 at 5:30 am

        Sorry about the last embedding. Here is the URL just in case http://generation-x.net/viewVideo.php?video_id=7257&title=How_are__quot_Non_Whites_quot__REALLY_Closer_to_Black_&vpkey=

        • Brenda55 says

          January 5, 2012 at 7:08 am

          @AJ1997

          Here is an example of two gorgeous young men who blow it every time they open their mouth. Beautiful as they are I could not be seen out with them. Such juvenile behaviour is not a good look. Pity.

          Oh and whats with the wedding bands they are each wearing????????

          My opinion of this video. The guys really have nothing to say that is meaningful, are full of it and looking for an excuse to be potty mouth on line. That’s right middle school stuff.

          • Law Wanxi says

            January 5, 2012 at 7:45 am

            @Brenda55@AJ1997

            “Oh and whats with the wedding bands they are each wearing????”

            Married to each other? At least it’s not on the DL; they’re out and proud!

          • Brenda55 says

            January 5, 2012 at 7:48 am

            @Law Wanxi@AJ1997

            Keepin’ it real and keepin’ it in the family.

          • AJ1997 says

            January 6, 2012 at 9:30 pm

            @Brenda55 The fact that they felt it was their duty to “check” the writer and save black women from making a personal decision is suspect as well.

        • mahogany says

          January 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

          • AJ1997 says

            January 6, 2012 at 9:31 pm

            @mahogany Hey thanks.

      • glamdoll says

        January 5, 2012 at 7:14 am

        @AJ1997

        I tried to watch this junk a while ago. The combination of profanityand ignorance was too much for me. My mind has a PAUSE and DELETE button that I’m learning how to use very well;-)

        • DeeDeeRussell says

          January 6, 2012 at 10:26 pm

          @glamdoll@AJ1997 You’re a better woman than I cause I’m not watching that mess…my gaydar is pinging already just by the looks of them.

          • glamdoll says

            January 6, 2012 at 11:10 pm

            @DeeDeeRussell@AJ1997

            thought it was just me….b/c they sure don’t seem to like women at all(:-

      • keeks Y says

        January 5, 2012 at 9:47 am

        @AJ1997 even though men like these two imbecile may be married; women are nothing but bitches and hoes to them.

      • Maxine says

        January 6, 2012 at 12:50 pm

        @AJ1997 I came across this after watching Nikki McElroy’s videos. I was stunned and disgusted by how violently they reacted to her book. So what if her book focused on white men and the title didn’t include every single racial variation on the planet? Please. They clearly took it as a personal affront to their black manhood and would probably only approve of BW/WM dating if it didn’t work out with the part-Armenian/Indonesian/Samoan/Martian/Arabic/Brazilian guy first. Oh and every black man in the same zip code.

        • DeeDeeRussell says

          January 6, 2012 at 10:30 pm

          @Maxine@AJ1997 Ha, they’ll get over it. I advise young BW not only to move out of the hood, I tell them to ‘date like a BM’=explore your options! I tell BM that to their faces and they can’t say squat. BM have always swirled and they’ll continue to. Basically I believe that quite a few BM feel inferior then want the BW under his foot to prop up, abuse, ignore, slander…and subjugate for his own selfish reasons. They’ll get over it as we have

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          Bingo!

          Scattered across the vast wastes of the internet, you come across many different versions of this worryingly addictive game. But this is not the kind of bingo involving numbers. Rather like university-level maths, numbers have long since vanished; we’re using letters now – or whole sentences.

          And so, for your bingo-playing pleasure, as of 18th January 2011 , I’ve collected a grand total of thirty-four different versions of bingo ( “am I covertly homophobic” bingo appears to have been removed from DeviantArt, and is no longer available, and neither is Rape Apologist Bingo 2, originally hosted on Flikr, and written by Jeff Fecke , a Shakesville contributor). A big thank you to Cara at The Curvature for her very comprehensive list – it made my job a lot easier!

          Individual cards:

          • Anti-choice Bingo
          • Anti-comics feminist bingo
          • Anti-gay bingo
          • Antifeminist Bingo (1-5)
          • Bisexual Bingo
          • Concern Troll Bingo
          • Anti-Breastfeeding Bingo (1 and 2)
          • Curebie Bingo (1-3)
          • Doctor of Colour Fail Bingo
          • Evolutionary Psychology Bingo
          • Fat Hate Bingo (1 and 2)
          • Invisible Illness Bingo (1 and 2)
          • Jon Favreau “Lighten Up Already” Bingo
          • Libertarian Troll Bingo
          • Mommy Wars Bingo
          • No Racism in Fiction Bingo
          • Physical Disability Bingo
          • Political Groups Feminist Bingo
          • Porny Presentation Bingo
          • Racist Bingo
          • Rape Apologist Bingo
          • Stupid White Folks Bingo
          • The “Feminist” Discussion About Transpeople Bingo
          • Transphobic Bingo
          • White Liberal Bingo

          Obviously, if I’ve miscredited anybody, if there’s one I’ve missed, or if any of the “authors unknown” wish to make themselves known, please shout. Otherwise, just feel free to enjoy the vast amounts of sarcasm gathered in one place!

          Disclaimer: these cards are not mine, have never been mine, and never will be mine. I didn’t write any of them. What I did do, sometimes, was copy the words that others had written into plain text. Since the words weren’t mine to begin with, I can’t – and won’t – stake any kind of claim on them. Anybody who wants to is welcome to copy the text that I’ve put up. However, please remember to attribute the cards to their original owners. If you felt like attributing the plain-text to me, that would be nice, but isn’t actually necessary.

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          18 Comments on “Bingo!”

          1. MomTFH says: March 1, 2009 at 3:29 am

            Thanks for the link love. I am not sure if anyone can read the card on here, but I am far from any tech wizard. I am actually in awe that you got so many cards on here.

          2. Rachel says: March 1, 2009 at 7:37 pm

            To be honest, I’m not sure if the card can be read either, but at least you get the gist of it! If you find/ make any more, you know where to send them…!

          3. Esme says: September 18, 2009 at 1:31 am

            I feel so special! I really love troll Bingo. It helps deal with them so well once you realize they’re all the exact same flaming moron.

          4. Esme says: September 18, 2009 at 1:38 am

            Oh, and the Girl Geek bingo and the rape apologist Bingo aren’t mine. Unfortunately, I think the authors of those originals may be lost to time, unless someone pops up to claim them.

          5. SunflowerP says: September 25, 2009 at 1:38 pm

            Some from my collection, that you don’t have listed here: Porny Presentation Bingo at the Geek Feminism Wiki; as described there, “A bingo card for you to use when reading blog posts about porny presentations at tech conferences.”

            Palin Bingo , four cards – possibly a bit US-centric for you, and rapidly becoming quaint and dated.

            Curebie Bingo at the Autism Information Library, three cards (plus a blank).

            Trans Bingo .

            I’m amused by the similarity of our screen names.

          6. Rachel says: September 25, 2009 at 4:33 pm

            Esme, you are special! I realise that the bingo cards with your name attatched aren’t yours, but your collection was the only place I could find some of them. I wouldn’t worry about it – I hope I’ve made it clear in the post that I’m glad to hear if I’ve wrongly attributed cards to people

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