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Slash’s hat lottery picture jokes - WTF fun factPaul Provenza: Masturbation Class21 quotes have been tagged as lottery: Suzanne Collins: 'She reaches in, digs her hand deep into the ball, and pulls out a slip of paper. The crowd draws..

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  • Fake Lottery TicketThese guys prank their friend good.

    Watch Exchange

    I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade”.

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    Big Spender

    I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn’t bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.

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    'I'm sorry, Bob, it wasn't you who won the mega-pool. It was Helen in accounting.' (to man mooning boss).

    Artist: Shirvanian, Vahan Search ID: vsh0457 High Res: 2250x2394 pixels (unwatermarked) Tags: boss , bosses , bob , robert , helen , employee , employees , ceo , ceo's , working , work , wining , winning the lottery , lottery , lotteries , pool , mega-pool , quitting , quitting job , new start , fresh start , mooning

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    Mike DeStefano: The Ex-Girlfriend and Mike

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    A wife comes in and yells, "Honey, pack your clothes! I just won the lottery."

    Her husband yells back, "Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"

    His wife replies, "I don't care! Just get the hell out."

    Tweet   Share Categories: Men/Women , Miscellaneous

    Winning The Lottery cartoon 8 of 28

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    Signs that your employee has won the lottery...

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    ,000 under the tree: A Mosinee teenager wins the lottery for Christmas

    By Emma Henderson  |  Posted: Thu 8:21 PM, Dec 28, 2017

    MOSINEE, Wis. (WSAW)- It was a ,000 Christmas surprise for Adriana Reed when she opened a scratch off from her uncle and discovered more and more numbers that were matching.

    "I definitely look at my uncle and I'm like, this has got to be fake," Reed said.

    This was not a prank. Reed's Uncle Ronnie Ryczek bought the ticket at a local Kwik Trip and said he thought Adriana would win something saying she seems to be "lucky."

    "Anything can happen, the odds were one in 70,000, so I feel like I defied the odds a little bit there," Reed said.

    In a video,her uncle and entire family can be seen cheering her on as she counts ,000 worth of numbers from the card.

    "How many people actually got to wrap 10 thousand dollars and give it to somebody? It's just a little piece of paper," Ryczek said.

    The pair went down to Madison Thursday to claim her winnings, and Reed says she's planning to spend some of the money to say "thank you" to her uncle. "I think I'm definitely going to take my uncle out on a trip or a buffet or something," Reed said.

    Now, with a nice dinner in his future, Ryczek just has to figure out how he's going to top this present next year.

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    The Lottery Ticket

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    John, who was in financial difficulty, walked into a church and started to pray. ''Listen God,'' John said. ''I know I haven't been perfect but I really need to win the lottery. I don't have a lot of money. Please help me out.'' He left the church, a week went by, and he hadn't won the lottery, so he walked into a synagogue. ''Come on, God,'' he said. ''I really need this money. My mom needs surgery and I have bills to pay. Please let me win the lottery.'' He left the synagogue, a week went by, and he didn't win the lottery. So, he went to a mosque and started to pray again. ''You're starting to disappoint me, God,'' he said. ''I've prayed and prayed. If you just let me win the lottery, I'll be a better person. I don't have to win the jackpot, just enough to get me out of debt. I'll give some to charity, even. Just let me win the lottery.'' John thought this did it, so he got up and walked outside. The clouds opened up and a booming voice said, ''John, buy a fucking lottery ticket.''

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